Is It Fall Yet??

Well look at that! I seemed to have taken a Summer break from blogging! That was not my intention at all, it just happens. Life just happens ya know? I know that technically, it's still Summer but we all know that once we flip the calendar to September 1st, our mind is on Pumpkin Spice everything, leaves changing colors, cooler weather, scarves, boots, back to school and Halloween.  

Did you have a nice Summer?

My Summer was up and down as you can see from my last post.  I was incredibly sad when I wrote my last post. Certain things in my life were kind of freaking me the fuck out a little.   I seem to have overcome the things that were concerning me and I have moved on and August was a much better month than July, like I hit the reset button on my emotions.

The highlight of my Summer was a visit to Gunnison Beach in Sandy Hook, NJ, it's the largest "clothing-optional" beach in the East Coast. Me and Mike went for our 15 year anniversary and it was so much fun! We had great weather, a really nice ferry ride from midtown Manhattan, and just an overall really cool experience. 

 

Obligatory Gunnison Beach pic. Oh yeah we're doing this! #summer #summer16 #gunnisonbeach #sandyhook #newjersey #nudebeaches #nudebeach

A photo posted by Marilyn ๐Ÿ‘“โ˜•๏ธ๐Ÿฐ (@marilyn_coffeeink) on

I haven't been to a beach in years, and I'm usually so self-conscious about wearing bathing suits, so I can't explain why I was totally okay getting naked in front of a bunch of strangers. Maybe because Mike was there, maybe because I was surrounded all types of unique people who were totally comfortable being naked in front me.  At the end of the day, I couldn't stop thinking about how fun it was and how good it felt. We totally plan on making multiple trips next year.  This visit has changed the way I look at myself, for the better, and I couldn't be happier about it, my body is sexy!

But I am welcoming the cooler weather and for my new tattoo to heal, I hate waiting for tattoos to heal.  

 

Close up of my latest tattoo - anatomical โค๏ธ with a repaired Aorta. Artist: @cookietattoo

A photo posted by Marilyn ๐Ÿ‘“โ˜•๏ธ๐Ÿฐ (@marilyn_coffeeink) on

I hope to get back into the habit of writing more regularly again and playing catch-up with my blog reading.  Leave your link in the comments so I can check your out!

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I'm Still Here

StillhereWhy hello dear blog! I didn't think I would go this long without updating.  I can't say anything specific has happened in my life to keep me from blogging, just the days getting away from me.  Well....some stuff did happen that kind of upset me and really messed up my head but I'm working through it the best I can.   In the midst of that drama, I found a new hiking trail nearby that was really nice and quiet, and it was nice to have company to take my mind off of things, thanks Jess

Summer seems to be half-way over already.  Work has been incredibly hectic as we are short staff, people taking vacations, jury duty, surgeries, my schedule has been out of whack a little.  I'm planning to take off a week at the end of August. I can't wait.  I don't have any specific plans yet, but I hope it involves going some place that is not NYC.  Even if it's a day trip further upstate.  I really need a couple of days where I am not thinking about work, or writing a blog post, or scheduling tweets and Facebook updates, or coming up with Instagram content.  Yeah, my brain is slowly feeling like mush. 

I live next door to a gym, and after living here for 6 years, yesterday I thought I'd go inside and ask about a membership.  Maybe more exercise is what I need? Help me recharge my brain and just improve my appearance overall.  Turns out they are way out of my budget, go figure.  I'll just keep going for my walks and sad looking jogs on my own.  

I've been thinking more and more about changing my appearance.  I have yet another tattoo appointment this weekend, I want to change my hair (but don't know how), I'm trying to dress a little different, I seem to be going through a thing.  

Maybe I'm trying to change who I am because I don't like who I am? 

I might just be mentally and emotionally exhausted and I need some sort of escape.  My self-confidence was never the greatest, ever since I was a teenager, and I still have my days of I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm a horrible person.   How can make this go away? I don't want to think this way about myself anymore.   This might be the most I've let my guard down in this blog, this was not my intension when I first started writing but fuck it.  It's the only real therapy I can afford right now.   

So that's what new, yeah, there's nothing new.  Just work. All I do is work.  It's the only thing I feel like I'm worth doing. Just work. 

Follow me on Twitter @inkandcoffeegal