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November 2016

NYC Visit: Thanksgiving Weekend 2016

Hope everyone who celebrates had a great Thanksgiving holiday.  Despite the state of things, there is still much to be thankful for and I had to keep reminding myself this. 

Winter Village Bryant Park NYC

I spent Thanksgiving in the city and we stayed with my parents Wednesday through Saturday. Wednesday night, the only thing I wanted to do was visit the Winter Village in Bryant Park.  Their Christmas tree was already up! It's not as big as the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center but this one is nicer, it has ornaments! Rockefeller's tree is just lights.  I'm pretty sure this one gets lit too.


Lots of vendors selling really cool items and some yummy looking food (chicken in a cone!) but my favorite doughnut spot in NYC, The Doughnut Project, had a booth and I pushed everyone out of my way, even knocking little children over on their asses, for a "Those Beetz Are Dope" doughnut which you might have seen on Instagram. 

Another thing I love about New York City during the holidays are the store windows.  Lord & Taylor was close by so we went to see their windows. The theme this year is "Enchanted Forest."

Lord and Taylor Holiday Windows 2016


Thursday morning we got up early and walked over to Columbus Circle to check out the Thanksgiving Day parade. We were far from the action but we can still hear the marching bands, see floats, and the balloons - which is most important, besides seeing Santa at the end.

Hello Kitty Balloon Thanksgiving Day Parade

Since we were right there, we got some hot chocolate and sat at Central Park for a little bit, one of our regular spots.  I wish we could watch the parade from the park but I think they close it off until the parade is over.

I spent the rest of the day at my parents just watching football, catching up with family, and eating. I did not take any pics of the food!! I can't believe it! But take my word for it, it was good and it was plenty. 

BLACK FRIDAY! We slept in late, no malls or department stores for me. We eventually went out and headed down to the West Village to do a little bit of shopping. 


I prefer hanging around the West Village because I feel like it's not as busy and they have all these small side streets that are still cobble stone and lined with old brownstones.  I've always wanted to live in a brownstone.   I hope the city will always have buildings like this, I can care less about the new glass towers. 

Overall, I'm biased but I can't think of a better place to experience the Holidays than in New York City and I think everyone should experience it at least once. 

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Why Can't We Be Facebook Friends?


It's been two weeks since the election and I'm still feeling raw.  Facebook is not helping but I can't stop looking at it.  There's so much bullshit and nastiness and hypocrisy, ugh, I hate hypocrisy so much.  Friends and family members are getting unfollowed over this.  I wonder if I would cut someone off because of this election? I did not anticipate this much of a divide even though as of this writing, Clinton is leading in the popular vote by 1.5 million.  I understand that people I'm friends with did not vote for Clinton because:

  • they really don't like Hillary Clinton
  • they really don't like President Obama 
  • they really don't like Political Correctness
  • they're tired of lifetime politicians running the country
  • they believe that this is the CHANGE that will make their lives better
  • they think he's gonna bring back jobs and fix the economy

They are willing to overlook all the negative traits Donald Trump carries because hey, nobody is perfect right? We all say and do stupid things sometimes.  

Can I digress for a minute and make wrestling analogy (again with the wrestling!)?

I was a fan of Chris Benoit. I thought he was really cool and great in the ring. That immediately changed in June 2007, the day I found out he killed his wife and son and took his own life. A lot of wrestling fans still say he's one of their favorite wrestlers. For me, that one act cancels out all of his accomplishments in the ring.  Fuck that guy!!!

I am having a very hard time giving Donald Trump a chance especially when:

  • he continues to make as ass of himself on Twitter (can someone change his password??)
  • his cabinet picks and considerations continues to be alarming and a threat to women, foreigners and LGBTQ
  • he was endorsed by the KKK
  • he is not doing enough to speak out about the continuing vandalism and attacks on people done in his name

Notice I didn't bring up anything prior to the election, this is all recent!

Where does this leave my friends?  I don't think they're racist or sexist jerks. I do think they are tired of seeing others benefit while they get shafted. They feel strongly enough that they are willing to overlook the threats faced by others because the greater good is coming, or they're just complacent.  I want to understand, I really do. 

It's okay to disagree with me, we can talk about that, but don't belittle me.  I know what it's like to share different views as most of your friends. I did not vote for Obama in 2008.  I was not a member of the Obama Fan Club. This put me in the minority with a lot of my friends who were all "Yay!!! Hope and change!!" While I was thinking, "We are fucked." But I did not troll around Facebook trying to burst people's bubble with reality checks.  

I'm tired of being around negative people. I have been negative for far too long. I don't need this shit in my life. We are in a fragile time where we need to build each other up, not tear each other down because we don't agree. Let's find some common ground. Life is short to be wasted on people who won't support you or try to make this world we all live in a better place.  I know you're more than just who you voted for.  You can have your views and opinions but your actions say more about who you are.  If you voted for Clinton and you don't say "Thank You" if I hold the door open for you, I'm gonna think you're a dick.  If you voted for Trump but you volunteer at homeless shelter, I'll have more respect for you. If I know you and voted for Trump and all you got to say is, "Get over it you sore loser! You're all a bunch of cry babies!" then you're not my friend, g'bye.

Recommended Reading

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You're Not A Feminist??

For a very long time, I've said that I wasn't a Feminist, I didn't like the label.  I didn't understand what it meant.  Turns out, I wasn't alone in my Feminist misunderstanding.  


I generalized being a Feminist as a bunch of angry, hairy armpit, no makeup wearing, man-haters. In my mind, it was normal to think women and men should be treated equally.  I'm not gonna make a stink about it.  Plus, I LOVE MEN!  I also love Gentlemen and chivalry.  Mike always opens car doors for me, and most doors for that matter. If I'm in an elevator and a man walks out before me or another woman, I think "What an asshole!"  I like the idea of a man taking care of his woman, I am not gonna spell it "Womyn" and stop saying words like "Mailman." Call me old-fashion, just don't call me a Feminist, right???

When I was younger I hung out with a lot of guys.  I was used to "guy humor" and wouldn't get uptight when they would say raunchy things. I loved all the Hair Metal bands and all of their music videos included almost naked chicks dancing around - that didn't bother me.  I grew up watching Pro-Wrestling where women where considered a joke, especially in the WWE, the worst was in the mid to late 90s. I'm talking "Bra & Panty" matches, wrestling in pig slop, food fights, a lot of them posed for Playboy, most of the women in the WWE practically "wrestled" in thongs and were paraded around in stripper outfits.  In ECW, you pretty much HAD to wear a thong before a guy slams you through a table. I thought it was stupid, but I kept watching. 

You know what else I love? Strong women.  Women who can go into a man's world and not be intimidated, who can take charge, kick ass, and take names. I always admired that too.  Back to pro-wrestling for a second (bear with me), there has been a shift in how women are treated.  There is a difference between "Pro-Wrestling" and "WWE."  The WWE is a spectacle with advertisers to cater to.   When I was little, I wanted to see women fight with the men but that hardly happened.  WWE tried it for a little bit with Chyna and Beth Phoenix, but these were BIG, muscular women.  They still won't allow it, however, other wrestling promotions like Chikara and PWG, to name a few, allow intergender fighting and I love it!  Sometimes the women win, sometimes they don't, but it's all done right and tells a good story.   

So I got older, and my feelings started to change. I found myself getting more angry watching the news.  More assaults, victim-blaming, slut-shaming, Bill Cosby, yet everything was the woman's fault.  Why did she wait so long? What was she doing there? What was she wearing? Who told her to get stupid-drunk?  Okay, I admit, I've asked these questions too.   Maybe this is where other women will disagree with me but I feel like as long as some men will continue to think that they can be as predatory as they want, women should stay alert and have their wits about them.  I don't have much faith that this behavior from these types of men will go away.  Sure you can go out and party, drink, smoke, but when you let your guard down, you're unfortunately putting yourself in danger and making yourself vulnerable, especially if you are some place not familiar with strangers. Consider it a part of self-defense, don't lose your judgment!  I hate that I even need to say this at all.

Then there are stories about privileged college boys getting off easy by a crusty old judge for sexually assaulting a woman on campus, even after getting caught red-handed.  Of course, there's all the Trump bullshit too.  Yeah, very angry.   Then the election happened and I yelled out "WHAT IN THE LIVING FUCK IS HAPPENING?!?!?!?!!"  I mentioned previously how scared I am.  Many rights of women, Muslims, and the LGBT community could be taken away. This is not right.

I think a woman should be able to do whatever she wants, if she wants to run Yahoo, be a Mom, be a Stripper, it's all good!  Women should not be limited in their reproductive rights or any other rights.  I am still a little hung up with the "Feminist" label, but I have a better understanding of it.  Being a Feminist comes in all shapes and sizes and can mean many things.  You can make it just about putting women first, or make it about equality and fairness for men and women. No one should try to make another group feel inferior. Everyone can be a Feminist, in a perfect world, everyone would be.

Recommended Reading

  • Bridging the Gap Between White Feminist and Women of Color - The Mary Sue
  • 4 Reasons Anti-Feminist Women Hate Feminism (And What They’re Missing) - Everyday Feminism
  • Follow on Twitter @inkandcoffeegal and Like on Facebook @inkandcoffee

    Let's Start Today

    Doing nothing for others is the undoing of ourselves.

    Ok, after a fluff post, it's time I did some writing therapy.  So here we go.

    I am more scared for our country now than I was after 9/11.  Since Election Day, the reports of harassment and vandalism throughout the nation is just sickening. How far are these hateful people going to go? I worry about domestic terrorism more than Islamic to be honest!

    "Not all people who voted for Trump feel this way!" Prove it!  

    Hundreds of hate crimes have been reported since Election Day. Supporting our next President does not give you the right to openly show your hate.  Do NOT use our next President as an excuse to act on your hate. You are wrong, there is no way around it.  When you leave sarcastic comments in a Facebook discussion, anonymously leave a threatening letter on your neighbors door, vandalize someone's car, verbally/physically assault someone, or are just quick to shrug off the genuine concern that half the country is feeling - just shows that you do not want move forward. Don't you want to move forward and "make America great again?"  

    America, with all it's faults, is already a great country.  This country is great because it's dealt with serious shit and has come out of it better - The Great Depression, Watergate/Vietnam, Reganomics, 9/11.  We get through it because there are many people who are willing to put in the work to help this country move forward. I will do what I can to support the LGBT community and stand for equal rights for women and PoC.  We will somehow get through the next 4 years, but it will not be pretty.  

    Our next election is in 2018 where in addition to your local elections, all 435 seats in the House of Representatives and 33 of the 100 seats in the Senate will be up for election. Start your research now, you're already staring at your phones refreshing your Twitter/Facebook/Instagram, take a moment to look up who your local reps are and see if they jive with your views.  Don't wait four years, start today!

    Suggested reading...

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    I'm Throwing A Twitter Happy Party!

    I've been doing TOO much reading lately and absorbing information, some of which is quite upsetting but important to know. I won't get into that now. Instead, I wanted to share some tweets I liked from the last couple of days...

    Have a good week!

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    Let's Turn This Shit Around



    Here I am after another long unexpected break. How you doing?  

    I'm writing this the day after Election Day and like half of the nation, I'm very disappointed in our President Elect.  I've been upset with previous elections but ooooh boy, this was a doozy!   My stomach was in a knot all night, I didn't go to bed until after 1:00 am but I pretty much knew what the outcome would be. It's a wonder I got any sleep at all. 

    Today I spent most of the day watching MSNBC, moping around, being a bit of a doom and gloomer, and stuffed my face with some Dunkin Donuts.  Then I cut that shit out.  There are causes I always felt strongly about but I haven't been too vocal about it and I want to change that.   If anything good has come out of this election personally, it's made me want to do more and be more involved in the causes I care about.

    I can't believe in 2016, there are still those who are afraid to just go about their lives.  I am Independent, Pro-Choice, Pro-LGBT, Pro-Sexual Freedom, and a supporter equal rights for everyone.  There's been a shift in my thinking the last couple of years as more and more bad shit is reported on the news, and it's making less sense. This election in particular brought out the ugly in a lot of people and and it's disheartening.  I don't want to live in a country where people are afraid of getting hurt or worse, just because of who they are.  I can't just #facepalm and complain to Mike about it any longer.

    Has this election lit a fire under anyone else's ass?

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