I recently made my deposit for the Yoga Teacher Training at the studio I go to for this Fall! Holy Crap!!!! Freaking out much?? Yes. Yes I am.
This is such a big deal for me and something I've been going back and forth on for ages. When I started practicing yoga back in 2003, I fell in love with it right away and knew I wanted to do more than just take a class once or twice a week. Then I learned that there were Yoga Teacher Training programs available and thought about it....a lot. Thought about it TOO much. So much, that doubts were getting to me:
You're too fat, no one will listen to you.
You're not that flexible, how can you teach something you can't do?
You're not that strong.
You can't do (insert advanced pretzel pose here).
You're wasting your money.
And then I lost my job and I stopped going to my old yoga studio in the city and eventually stopped practicing altogether. Years passed and I didn't practice. I started up my yoga practice again last year and I've been IN IT! Doing the damn thing 3-4 times a week and after finishing the 40 Days To Personal Revolution Challenge, it got me thinking. I wanted to go further and deeper in my yoga practice and the studio's own Yoga Teacher Training program came up. Right away I thought "Nah....no money, my practice is better but it's not as strong, I'm still not where I should be physically..." and FUUUUCKKKK I'm doing it again!!!!
Then mortality smacked me in the face when I lost a loved one suddenly in March and it completely silenced those negative thoughts. Life is short. Don't delay. Stop holding yourself back. Do the things you dream of doing!!! It will all somehow work itself out. So I'm going for it and I'm pursuing what I should have done 10+ years ago. Back then was not the time and I wasn't ready for it mentally and emotionally. I'm ready now.
Where life will take me after I complete my training? Who knows, but I can't close myself to opportunities and living my best life anymore. Even if I don't end up teaching anywhere, that's okay. I just love talking about yoga and how much it has helped me that I want to share those benefits as much and as accurately as possible, even if it's just to my friends and family. I really want to know what I'm talking about.
So this Fall, from September to December, I'm going to be immersed with Yoga Teacher Training and I'm so excited, and so nervous, but SO EXCITED!!